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2005-12-17

Saturday nights always deflate early.

8:44 p.m.

So...I'm on my 3rd beer in my house, getting ready to go see king kong. Listening to one of Anne's mixes. It's occurred to me: How do you stop looking for a mate? Do you just become the kind of person who you want? Does this make sense, or do you always search, no matter what?

Lonely days... Actually, they haven't been so lonely. Just today was weird. A stupid date last week that was disappointing makes me wonder what the fuck I'm doing here.

Happily, I'll go back to Brooklyn on Wednesday. I'll go back and try to roll around with the boys I liked so much but could never get near. I'll laugh with the girls I regret not being near to, anymore.

Anyone? Anyone?

2005-04-08

gimme more 'za, brah

2:36 p.m.

Yesterday was, like, the best day in a while. They've been getting better since I last wrote. I talked to Amy on Wendesday night, and that was great. Man, it's really crazy to think how much you can be missin' without your favorite lady in the hood, and when you reconnect, it's so good you wonder how you ever got along without her. I am hoping I can clone Amy and leave her copy in Baltimore while I steal the real deal and we get married, don't bone, raise great kids, and live on a commune. I cannot goddamn wait. BAAAMMMM!!!!

Yesterday I went to my therapist in the morning. Dudes, Cheryl is awesome. We were talking about a lot of the D stuff I wrote in here and she made me feel a lot better about it. I'm not gonna bore you with her insights into the situation, but I pretty much know it's not my fault that he's being all bog-ile on me, and that's really crucial.

I got home from work yesterday, and he got home early, and we went for a bike ride and got groceries and made pizza and had a pizza pot luck and everyone had fun and got full and it was just really great. We went to bed all full and nuzzly and who could be happier?

So, today at work slides by. My mom's flight should be landing in a matter of minutes. I'll pick her up and take her back to my house. We'll eat some dinner and maybe have a glass of vino before I take her home and go out late with my friend Becca to some crazy music b.s.

I'm feeling optimistic about the weekend, and have been consulting Oblique Strategies often. Thinking I might make my own deck?

Love,
Stacia

wait - and then

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